Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
