Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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