i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
