I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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