All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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