he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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