If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
