Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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