we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
