whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I smell stomach acid.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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