We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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