Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
