This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize