i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
