the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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