Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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