Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
