so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
