I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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