giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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