She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
