i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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