And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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