dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
