Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Randomize
