piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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