No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
