No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
They took my balls.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
