my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
