I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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