Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
