4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
