If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize