We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
