I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
