I wannas sexs uuuuu
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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