You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize