Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
