So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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