my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize