At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
