Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize