I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
