Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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