If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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