I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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