What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
