Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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