i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize