somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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