I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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