Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Randomize
