Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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