THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
