Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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