Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
