margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
