That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm too high and old for this...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
