Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
