margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
The air was thick with penises
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
