I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
