Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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