whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
where does the pee come out of this thing
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I need a beard to bite.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
