You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
